Sad Sweethart... [sic]

Sorry about the [sic], I only used it for alliterative purposes. I think I just made that word up.

Today was crazy and I'll be up until like three or four doing math and science homework (AP Chem, AP Calc, Adv. Bio), but I felt like I needed to update this.

Also, why are girls so emotional? I don't understand it. It's not a bad thing; I'm just not an emotional person and I have a hard time connecting to girls who are dumping their feelings on me... I hate to say it, but a blank Word document or OpenOffice or whatever you prefer is probably better to dump on than me... but maybe that's because I'm "intimidating" and antisocial and scary. Why should intelligence and honesty be intimidating? Shouldn't they actually be the reverse? I would never want someone to lie to me for any reason... Actually, that's good comment fodder. Anyone who reads this, leave a comment on something you think I wouldn't want to be told the truth about. Sorry about the word verification; I didn't want any more comment spam.

So, regarding Sweetheart... the person never fessed up or came forward or anything. I wanted to know who it was so badly, too! Oh well... anonymous crushes are cute, but it'd be a nice ego boost to know who likes me. Not that I need a bigger ego or anything. I mean, c'mon, I'm blogging. That makes me feel like my ego is inflated enough.

So Sarah and I decided we would go to a movie (I kind of want to see Aeon Flux but I don't know if she'll be into that) and then she'll come over and we'll... I don't know what we'll do. I'll show her stuff on the computer (pics, music) and we'll talk maybe. Sounds sort of cool... I felt bad because it sounded like she sort of wanted to go to Sweetheart with me after I half-assedly asked her. Wow, I'm making up words all over the place, aren't I? So it's a little because I feel bad but mainly because she's fun to spend time with... though I do admit there are times I feel frustrated because she has a tendency to make statements about what she would think I would do. Perhaps it's inaccuracy of language, but those statements frustrate me because I don't like to be put in boxes. She claims not to know me that well but then makes future character judgments about me, which is almost the most frustrating thing in the world, because it means she already has me in a box and her view of me has become static. I hope this isn't the case, but in all past relationships any change of perception made after future judgment casting has trended toward zero. That was way too complicated wording. I mean that after people put me in a box, they tend not to want to take me out and put me in another box.

With regards to how I handle that, I can't do it in real-time... I don't know if anyone can. I have to re-evaluate the data and re-establish references to other relationships to place someone in a new "box." Which I don't get the chance to do often, admittedly, but it happens every once and a while. This week is way to busy and I'm going to have to do some sitting around this weekend so my brain gets a chance to process the backlog of data that's building up. That's why I would need a job that's sort of stressful so it's fun but it would also have to be on-and-off stressful so I would get a chance to process data on a regular interval so nothing becomes static... or, perhaps more appropriately, stagnant. Hmm... haven't seen that relationship before. The prefix sta- must mean stable or to remain. Seems pretty logical and I'm amazed I was never observant enough to spot that before.

Anyway, so I'm not going to Sweetheart :(
But it's as much by choice as it is by situation, so that frown wasn't warranted.

Anyway, I've just recently had an A.P. Chem A-ha! moment, so I'm going to go finish that then do calc and bio. Night.

A Blogspot Mystery! A Real One!

This note was taped to my car after a choir event we did. No name. Any ideas? Yes, I know she spelled Sweetheart wrong. Leave me comments like as to her motivation behind leaving an anonymous request. I have no idea who it might be. I would write more and I had, but in the process of uploading the picture, Firefox crashed and I lost my whole post. /fume /fume /angry . Yeah. This week might not be as bad as last week but it still sucks.


Holy crap! Don't do comment spam, people. It's stupid. Within like 10 seconds of posting I had two comment spam messages. Grr!!! They're gone, and if you spam me, you will get nowhere.

Hooray! Another boring post!

I feel like procrastinating instead of doing my English, so I'll write.

This week has been among the longest and most unpleasant weeks in recent years. I'm sure I'll feel guilty and egotistical for writing about it, but... umm... it's my blog, and no one reads it, so I'll do as I please. (whoops, no offense if you do read it... you could... uh... send suggestions of topics to write about? leave comments, please)

It sort of started on... well, Friday. I always used to play Final Fantasy XI (an online role-playing game) but decided I was spending too much time on it and quit. But I miss it (yes, it's that addictive) so I started again. Remora server, Neomatrim (RDM60, WHM25, BLM23, NIN16, WAR6, SMN6 at the time of writing).

But like I said, it's way too addicting so I played too much and stayed up late then missed church not because I wanted to, but because my half-conscious self, that guy who turns off the alarm clock in the morning, would rather have crawled back into the warm bed and woken up ten minutes later than showered and gone to church. I still had to go to choir practice so I went. We got done at about 12, then I came back and played some more. I did my homework and went to bed.

Monday went by okay, slow, but okay. After school I went to work (I work for Rocky Mountain Laboratories in the Laboratory of Human Bacterial Pathogenesis) but had to leave early because Missoula Youth Symphony had been moved up an hour. So my mom and I (she drives me to Missoula, 43 miles away, every week for my oboe lesson and MYS... bless her soul) headed for Missoula. I got to my oboe teacher's house and she basically told me I shouldn't have a lesson because it was so late and I wouldn't get anything out of it. Then I went to MYS, was told I really didn't need to be there because I wasn't playing in the concert anyway (I play Oboe 1 but I have a band concert the same day as the symphony concert, which was moved up because of a AA choir festival. Whew). But the second oboist got there an hour after I did, because apparently she didn't get the memo. Ugh. Platitude. But basically, I wasted four hours that night for no reason other than to be told I didn't need to be there.

THEN I started my homework. I did my A.P. Chem and A.P. Calc and studied for a big Advanced Bio test.

Tuesday. I woke up at 10 to eight, took a four-minute shower, and went to school, arriving two minutes before the tardy bell. School was school. That night we had a choir concert, and Jaffre and I were accompanying some of the choirs on oboe and cello. I went to work and left an hour early so I could prepare the music I had to play on oboe so I wouldn't have to turn pages. It took me until 15 minutes after I was supposed to be at the concert. No worries, though. The concert went fine, even though it was only the second time I had seen the oboe music. Huge load off my back.

When I got home I had a rather extensive English project on a novel (Frankenstein) so I sort of stayed up all night finishing it... not really, but the kind where you're sort of slipping in and out of consciousness all night. So I wasn't too tired the next day when I finished at 7:50. The day was unremarkable at best.

Thursday. I woke up late. Really late. So late I was supposed to call my mom and tell her I had missed first period. Good thing she didn't have her cell phone on her. The day was okay, then after school I had a choir rehearsal I hadn't heard about until that day. When I got to work the other people in my lab had already started to do my job because they thought I wouldn't be coming in. So I got chewed out and finished up, then went to a Science Olympiad study session, which was okay. Afterwards I had a long chat with some people about what a social life is and the proper lingo for drinking. It is pathetic how naïve I am when it comes to anything social.

Now I'm home, not doing my English assignment. It's now 11:55, and a terrible week is nearly over. I have literally zero social life and only now is it starting to make me feel like I've missed out. That was about my week; I'll be doing a comtemplative dump a bit later, when my mind has finished processing tonight's discussion. If I could do it now, I would, because trust me, there are few things I would like to do less than my English. I don't care about being up late, because even if it takes me an hour and a half, I can still get five and a half hours of sleep, which is quite a lot.